17 September 2014

Dear God, 

I am writing to you in hopes that this will bring us closer. I want more of you, God. Every second of every day I want to feel your presence. I know you are always there for me, and I cannot thank you enough for that, but I still feel alone. So, please, hear my prayer and do your will. 

I want to focus my prayer on 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. 

"Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure n my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

This verse means an awful lot to me because I almost always feel weak - powerless. And the thing about humans is that when we are feeling weak, we like to play it up as if we are strong. You know, God, that I am struggling with the change that comes from going to college. Away from my friends and family, essentially alone in a city 300 miles away, and crushed by the weight of expectations and schoolwork. I should cry out for help and admit that I am having a rough time, but instead I pretend everything is going great. I want people to think I have it all together, when in reality, I am broken and exhausted. This is making me more exhausted - more broken. It is a vicious cycle I need You to break. Please, help me open up and boast about my weakness. I am a feeble human, but You are an awesome God. I put all of my trust in you, Lord. Use your power to work through me and make me strong. 

Amen.